You Just Have to be Blunt With Guys

Much like the dong to the nuts, women sometimes just have to be straight up with us guys. I have come to the conclusion that guys are simple creatures and just want women to be straight up and honest with them. It may hurt the guys feelings, but in the long run it is like a sticking plaster which just needs to be ripped off straight away rather than be lead on and slowly adjusted too in a not so painful way which will end up being more painful in the long run!

This is based on someone elses experience, so I don't mind being so blunt!

The Most Inconsistent New Zealand Sports Team

I am watching the NZ Warriors cop a flogging at the hands of Manly and I am left wondering what is the most inconsistent New Zealand sports team? These teams are so difficult to support because they are potentially good enough to win most matches, but this potential is often not realised and they end up losing to a team that they are man for man better than!

The Hurricanes spring to mind as you know if they won last weekend, then they are due for a loss the following weekend. By this logic they should beat the Sharks this weekend. They have so many dangerous attacking weapons like Ma'a Nonu, their loose forwards and Andrew Hore, while Jimmy Gopperth and Piri Weepu typify this topsy turvy team with their only constant being their inconsistency.

The Black Caps with their fragile top order, dazzling middle order stroke makers who constantly have the tag potential yet get to their end of their careers averaging in the low 30s and scoring good looking 30s until getting themselves out. Vettori is reliable, yet much of our recent success relies on who isn't on the physio table at the time with Shane Bond a constant in winning teams in the recent past. Will Tim Southee be any different?

The Warriors are known for their razzle dazzle, with their large volume of Pacific Island players with brilliant natural physical ability, speed and strength often guilty of poor decision making and a tendency to be amazing when their tales are up, but atrociously horrendous when they are bad. One name typifies this team, Manu Vatuvei.

Are there any other teams you think cause fans to tear their hair out with their inconsistency? The Blues? International teams like the Tri Coloures at rugby, Pakistan at cricket (depending on bookmakers) and the Kiwi league team. What about the Wellington Phoenix FC?

My reason for hating finger suckers/ nail biters

I have two pet hates in life which have been raring their ugly head in the past year, with little sympathy.

Finger Sucking and Nail Biting (Gross!)

This phobia originated when in Form Three my Social Studies teacher who was also the Drama teacher made us watch 1970s horror movies. In a particular horror movie this lady had been turned into some sort of blood thirsty vampire and with an insatiable appetite for blood she was driving her car while eating liver and kidneys. She was so keen to get every last inch of delicious blood off her fingers that she was licking them and sucking them with that disgusting sucking sound.

Biting nails stems from seeing the documentary from the guy that did The Human Body. He did a further series which included analysing sneezes in slow motion and the bacteria in kitchen sponges, on shopping trolley handles and he also looked at biting what is under your nails in everyday life. It was filthy! Plus it makes an annoying crunching sound. My flatmate has such short nails. Give me nail scissors anyday!

So there you go! Check out the dorky chump thumb sucker above.

Do you think me growing a mullet will help my boys win?

The Highlander players sporting mullets!

My boys the Highlanders are sitting rock bottom, stone cold motherless last with five bonus points and no wins in six matches in the Rebel Sport 14. The bonus points their only reward for toil. It is funny how the fans only show up to the games and take interest when a side is winning, yet when a side is losing is when they most need support. I say grow a mullet for the remainder of the Super 14 and show your support. They have lost so many players in the past season and have limited player resources and experience. Despite being expected to struggle this season, the Highlanders have actually punched above their weight to an extent. Earning bonus points against the Reds, Brumbies, Waratahs, Hurricanes and Chiefs has rewarded their endeavour and they so easily could've been up the table higher if they had the odd refereeing decision and bounce of the ball go their way! Hopefully they get most of their players back in the draft next season rather than blooding them in loses and having them snapped up by other teams as more complete players!

So get out there and sport a do like your heroes!

Life Changes

I am back in Dunners the land of Speedy. It just isn't the same now as my University mates are settled down and married and/or having babies as we speak. No more frat parties, keg racing, nude runs or street cricket. In fact there is a baby boom in progress right now with the pitter patter of so many pairs of tiny feet in my various circles of friends.

I bumped into Ben Febery, Feebs as he is known in Invers. It is funny how I have to keep telling myself that Invers really isn't such a small place, but whenever I go up town I see familiar faces from various stages of yester year. Some, like my brother and is business crowd have prospered (he has a Dr Who pinball machine in his office to supplement his golf hole) while others like the usual sickness beneficaries at the Invercargill Public Library have floundered, but still hang around!

I had lunch with the Scripture Union gang minus Nige Winder. He is one of the first paragraph of this posting. It is amazing how Invers is a strong hold for Scripture Union! I went shopping with Feebs for some running shorts. We were the heterosexual life partners checking out running shorts for him. Invers has a few chain stores including Rebel and Stirling Sports which are never busy, meaning more bargains for us and some others like Outdoor World and Alan White Sports with the gun shooting, duck shooting gear, which would struggle to survive in the big city.

Finally, yesterday was such a hot day in Invers. One of the local radio stations claimed it was 29 degrees. You can't beat Invers on a Good Day! The problem is that there aren't nearly enough of those days!

I've Been Everywhere

I am now over the disappointment of travelling for 4.5 hours return to watch the team I love, the Highlanders lose again. Again they would've, could've, should've won, but they didn't!!!

After hitting Invers stores without Wellington queues, I went to some amazing settlements today.

On my way with the extended family to Curio Bay in the Catlins with amazing scenery, we passed through household towns like Fortrose, Waikawa, Quarry Hills, Tokanui, Gorge Road and saw the road sign pointing towards the metropolis of Fortification.

The population of these places struggle to make triple figures, but provide me with a break from the big smoke lifestyle in Wellington. It has been great for a change!

I am going to a podiatrist tomorrow to get my feet drawn around and some implants. It should help solve my problems! Enjoy going back to work tomorrow people, I am off until the weekend!

Off to Invers

Easter has come around so quickly. While I missed out on the $1 fares (they were faster than hot cakes) I am leaving on Wednesday and returning Saturday week. Most people spend Easter with their families and so I am leaving for the land of Burt Munro and The City of Water and Light! I will definitely notice a shortage of people. There isn't your alternative crowd in Invers, there aren't the high numbers and calibre of elligible women and there are definitely none of the fairy crowd check the 2006 Census data!

I will head to Queenstown to watch the Highlanders win (miracles happen) against the Force on Saturday and go to Dunners one day too!

There will be nostalgia, but seriously is it my imagination, or does it seem like yesterday that this year started? So much water has gone under the bridge. I beat by the time I get used to the slower pace of Invers, I will return to Wellys. Easter is early, so I have decided that it is the best time to holiday, between the seasons.

Fun Times and One Burning Issue

It was amazing being at a sell out test match with atmosphere. The way England were batting, I was wondering how non fanatics were handling the tedium?


I am sitting in my flat watching SKY. It is great to have that black box back! I watched the Warriors and now I am watching beach cricket from Australia being played by great legends of the game like Greatbatch, Crowe and Patel, playing against England legends and Australian legends. It is classic!

My weekend started with pizza and DVD at Jenny and Natalia's house. It was fun to critique the bad acting in Rocky Balboa. Saturday dawned and I went to the Basin Reserve to watch England vs Blackcaps. I forgot how slow test match cricket can be towards the start of an innings. England were scoring safe, but slowly. It got hot and the rowdy Barmy Army crowd got pretty sunburned!

I then realised that I have the ability to hit clean winners at tennis, while still losing. I played a team mate and lost a set (not a match), yet hit a barrage of winners, among unforced errors! It's a common theme as on Monday night (tonight) I lost to one of the top 1000 players in New Zealand 6-1 6-1. I also lost doubles. I haven't won singles since November last year, but my usual doubles partner is injured and we are unbeaten together, but apart I have only won once!

In other weekend action I played in a pre season Marist Skins match, it is strange being back!

I went in the drama at night church and everyone has been so encouraging of my performance. Christians are good like that!

I went to dessert and games party and was told it was a costume party, so showed up wearing beige. It was an all 20 year old female flat, so my arrival with Jamieson boost the ratio from 1 guy and 15 women to 3 guys and 16 women. Outburst and Cranium ensured fun.

My burning issue is with a guy from The Street who ripped into my gentle joking of him. It is funny how some people take themselves too seriously. Initially we busted him on a lunch outing with a female and a group had lunch at another table. They joined us. I mentioned to him how I was sorry that he lucked out. I thought that we were fine. Then after the Look Who's Coming to Dinner event at church I hassled him because he went to the Loveshack (all female flat) and they had sushi. So on Sunday to get the ball rolling I asked him if he had, had any sushi meals recently. With that he told me off for constantly insinuating things and that no one in the church likes it. It was a real conversation killer. Luckily it was between the two of us, but I was thinking the entire time that this guy needs to take a tablespoon of cement and harden up. Why do some people take themselves so seriously?

Good Things Take Time

I hate when you spend a week of your life getting no where with technology products like Blogs, but eventually you reach the other side. For some reason the link function on You Tube hasn't been working. Not only do videos take ages to upload to You Tube, but to rub it in, my blogs can no longer be linked for a direct upload path. So I am writing this at midnight, so no cheap shots about the punctuation or grammar please as I am frustrated enough already.

In the past week we played the touch match previewed in the video above, but the above video is still relevant. The Thursday night team I played for won over my Wednesday side I organise easily. It showed that they played together more most Sundays, and despite my efforts to get the Wednesday team to show, they just didn't have the same commitment. The Thursday team played in a higher grade, but finished lower in that grade. So ironically, the Wednesday team who got beaten on Sunday actually claimed the silverware and prizes in the Total Touch competition, even if it was Div 5. They also had 2 inexperienced females, pulled in at the last minute!
Switch take home the SD Street Cup with a resounding win based on mistake free touch and experience. Thanks to Jimbo Edgecombe for refereeing!

In other news

1) It is official, I am a far better doubles player than singles. Again I won my doubles and lost my singles, this polarises my rankings!

2) With a record turn out of 20, Glee Club claimed second place in the Realm Hataitai Pub Quiz. Our team numbers went up from 3 the previous week to 20, including 14 females. It was the best of both worlds, answering questions and great company (wink,wink)

3) I am in love with one of the Hurricanes cheerleaders. My ideal woman loves sport while still remaining feminine. If she could hold a tennis racquet and enjoy watching test cricket and rugby then sign me up. I was looking at the Renouf Centre/ Wellington tennis website (indoor courts at Renouf cost $44 to hire, steep!) when I recognised one of the Hurricanes cheerleaders from the Chiefs game I went to. She is a top 50 ranked NZ player and a coach. Unfortunately she is way out of my league on I am 3400th and off the court! I wonder if she likes test cricket?

4) I am in the drama team for church, so come along to the evening service this weekend.

5) I decided to shell out $450 to see the family in Invers at Easter. I will tack some days on. I was keen for some other action, but most people seem to spend this time of year with family, like Christmas. The difference is they don't have to travel 800KM or whatever it is. I will go to the Highlanders vs Force game in Queenstown.

6) My brother came to stay on Sunday night. He came to Wellys for a two hour course on the Monday morning. It must've been strange staying at my place in transient Newtown as he has his own accountancy firm and is married with four children just outside Invers on a quarter acre. We went and saw Run Fatboy Run in memory of my friend Dominic Crowl and is camp running style.

7) I went to a 1980s party as Something I Wanted to be When I Was Six. No contest I went in my beige attire and found some slightly more late 1980s fluro zinc in a chemist. It is itchy, but beautiful.

8) In reference to the You TUbe clip. It seems people are busy doing their own thing and only wanting to do something different if heaps of people want to do it. It is typical Generation Y (Why Bother). It makes it difficult to organise social events. I am losing faith in people, as I enjoy organising fun outings, but I am getting trash response rates.

Test match cricket returns to Wellington on Thursday and it will be interesting. If you were brought up with tests then you can understand the strategies and nuiances of it. There are plenty of the theatre going, wack and giggle Twenty 20 fans who think One Day Internationals get boring. No way! If I can wait 20 years for Otago to win a domestic cricket trophy again, I can sit through five days to watch us beat England!