Quick Ode to Anonymous Blogger and Nostalgia

At this festive time of year I would like to write an ode to Anonymous blogger and nostalgia.

Anonymous blogger is just that anonymous. They are a handy source of information especially on internet dating. It provides a unique perspective as being anonymous they can shoot from the hip with little concern of the ramifications. I love the insight of the anonymous blogger and may their advice on aspects of dating continue well into the New Year.

I don't have internet at home so am paying $2 at the Southland Museum for the services, so that is why this is a quick ode. It is strange spending time with the family again in Invers for the first time in years. It is a real throwback to the familiar surroundings of life in the 1980s and 90s. I barely know anyone in Invers anymore, but everything seems so familiar. It leaves me pondering where I have and haven't gone in life.

I am off to Queenstown for my first holiday with the family in ages. I guess it is only for a short time, but is a far cry from the ease of single life in the capital. No small nieces to annoy me, but yet they are my family and it is a great change I guess for only a few weeks.

Invers

I have arrived in the land of Invers. The southern most city in New Zealand and unlike the usual southerly chills that cut you in half as they greet you when you walk from the airplane to the terminal, I can announce to the world "The sun does shine in Invers". I kissed the terra firme after flying for two hours. There is something about the air down here. It is clean and fresh, the streets are desserted and flat and wide. Invers is spread out and so laid back. I forget that when you see someone walking down the street in suburbia, you say "hi". This is middle class, white, heterosexual New Zealand, a far cry from Cuba Street and Newtown in Wellington.

I arrived and got picked up by my bros and niece. We went to the Lone Star for din dins and this laid the platform for a busy time. We got in without booking (easy in Invers) and went home. It is weird hanging with family which includes my brothers four daughters. It is a different stage of life.

Yesterday I helped my sister move and in the southland heat we went and picked strawberries in the whop whops. I have been to such powerhouse settlements like Drummond, Wallacetown and Thornbury.

I played Laser Land (like Laser Force) and got the best player. I love playing with amateurs!

It is my sisters birthday today and we celebrated by going to my home church North Presybetrian. No songs after 1965 and not many under 50s there. It is a far cry from The Street in Wellington, and I don't know how people like my sister can handle the slow pace of the church. I don't think I could go back to the Scottish ways of the Presybetrian church, it is not lively enough!

We went to Riverton this arvo and played ball in the water, but with little ones around, it was waist height maximum. Life has changed in Invers and while it is great for a break, give me the bright lights of Wellington for 50 weeks of the year.

I am off to Queenstown after Christmas for cricket, tourism and more family times.

Greer's Flatwarming

These photos were taken at one of the last functions on the unofficial Street calendar, Greer's flatwarming. The theme was "Favourite TV Show Characters from When You Were a Kid". This was a great theme and a great party in an inner city apartment. Very New York!

The number and standard of dress up parties is huge up here, as I find myself hiring costumes all of the time.

This has caused the guy in the photos in the Batman outfit to try and make costumes to save himself money. He is starting his own wardrobe to cover all possible themes.

So who wants to guess the characters above? Batman is obvious, but from what tv shows are the others from?

If you are stuck then look up my Facebook profile.

Thanks to William Beard for sending me these photos. The joy of having a cell phone with a decent camera. It saves carrying a camera around.

Question:

"If coffee is the new marriage, then what is the new coffee?"

When asking women out on dates!

The Mason Ward Appreciation Club

This post goes out to Mason Ward. I don't know what it is about him, but everytime I see him it stirs the emotion inside of me. Last night for example when I left the Goatshed just after he arrived, I found myself rubbing his balding scalp as a farewell gesture. I usually squeeze the top of his shoulder. I think because he is so small, he comes across like a toy, but he is a real person with feelings. If he isn't being hugged, squeezed or rubbed then he should be.

His hobbies are attention seeking through chair dancing (see above), table dancing, riding the lightening and basically anything that will amuse the masses. He is working on childrens books now and also enjoys reading.

So if you feel down in the dumps or want to give this fellow some attention then go around to the Goatshed and rub, hug or squeeze Mason Ward, watch him dance or just sit there watching him rubbing his hands together in excitement. It is just what you need!

He has some ramblings on his blog, but not being a big one for technology (although he thinks he is!) read his blog listed down the side of this blog. It will make Mase really happy!

Memories and The Big City

No doubt the Village People would've been chased out of Invers or Gore, but I believe that no one would look twice if they were in Wellington. It is a sign of the culture here where people can get away with wearing and being whoever in Wellington, which probably makes being a Christian easier.

The year is almost upon us and my first year in the big smoke has been host to many great times. IT is definitely a new chapter in my life and there is a real sense that Wellington is the 25-30 year old Dunedin. I feel that there are not many things left for me in Dunners, as people are moving on from there. There are many attractions up here and heaps more people to meet and grow relationships with. There seems to be an abundance of females, yet coffee has turned into a marriage proposal in many quarters. The people in Wellington seem more positive than down south with less of the tall poppy syndrome which sees anyone making a good fist of something being chopped down at the knees. At the same time, the people probably blow their own trumpet on the whole and are definitely more into the image of things. The EMO culture will probably never hit Gore!

There is far better entertainment up here with beaches so accessible and the weather suitable. The Cake Tin with football, cricket, Beckham. There are heaps of movie theatres and shows. I can see why there aren't as many sports jocks around here as there is such a wide range of accessible entertainment.

My highlights of the year were in no particular order.

1)Sports camp - (not the flu afterwards)
2) Getting my first articles published in Consumer.
3) My weekends in Dunners. These involved weddings, football and the Gore Ball.
4)Muzza's 30th Party Lip Sync - we were the Village People hence the clip and I was the Leather Man (Biker). YouTube deleted our clip!
5) Sports - getting back into tennis and continuing to play football and touch.
6)Beckham - seeing him was cool.
7)Weekly social roster - my calendar has been more full than ever before with nightly events like movie club, salsa, Friday Night Drinks. These have been great especially if I had no sport on!

A One Way Ticket To A One Horse Town, But At What Price?

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I decided to check when my flight on Saturday week, (22nd December) would be leaving Wellington and arriving in Invers. Searched my email by keyword Air New Zealand and once I got through the piles of Air New Zealand Cup emails I arrived at my correct destination, my ticket information for the one way ticket to a one horse town.

Officially a city according to Statistics NZ Invers is the southern most city in the country and Southern Hemisphere population approx 50,000. Famous for the World's Fastest Indian, Tim Shadbolt, Tiwai Point Aluminium Smelter, Stadium Southland and the Sting phenomenon and the country's only indoor cycling velodrome. Anyway there is obviously still plenty of demand for the Invercargill life as I discovered that my tickets I paid for in April were actually from Invers to Wellington and cost me about $169 at the time, while at this late stage there are plenty of flights to Invers from Wellington on the 22nd December if you don't mind paying $500. I found a direct flight (new this year) on Friday 21st December for $300 additional dollars. This takes 2 hours, but leaves after work on Friday and arrives in time for a late dinner in Invers at 6:40pm. It is a new service and will surely be enjoyed by Eric Roy and Bill English, rather than the usual stop off in Christchurch.

In other news, I impressed by workmates with my knowledge of lawn bowls during our work Christmas function. It was such a warm day in Wellington yesterday (high 20s) and by the end of the day I was well and truly dehydrated. The beauty of it all was that by knowing plenty about bowls (the late Millie Kahn and the mens pair of Peter Bellis and Rowan Brassey were heroes of mine in the 1980s/1990s) makes up for limit ability on the rinks and greens. I knocked back 2 litres of water and a Panadol afterwards and had a nap. I awoke feeling regenerated. It is funny that something like this is a great leveller. I could tell the CEO of Consumer what to do. Sue was a good sport though and at times may or may not have rolled some winning bowls against my four.

Just before Beowulf 3D

The Accidential Third Wheel

On Friday it was put to the circle of my Life Group (Glee Club) who often attend movies (Movie Club) that we watch Elizabeth The Golden Age. I was bored being injured from usual Monday night tennis and without television, I was up for a change of scenery. I show up to find "The Dolf" a colourful character who for some reason selected this movie, as the only other attendee. Outside of feeling like a rampant pillow biter by attending a girly movie with a guy of colourful disposition we mutually decided that we would not attend. He had a BBQ he could go to and I ended up going to another movie since I was there, Eastern Promises.

I felt like a bit of a loner, but went in when it was dark and there were hardly any other punters in the audience. Then in walked Will and Ann Marie from The Street. This created a third wheel scenario and I was left not knowing whether to talk much to them or mainly leave them alone to continue their date. It was fine. The movie was interesting. It revolved around the Russian mafia in London and how Russian women often go to London in search of a better life and a exploited by sleazy Russian men who are often drunk on vodka. Since I was in London last year and saw all of the Eastern Europeans thinking life is easy in Royal Brittania and sleeping in parks and things when they discover how expensive it really is, I was sympathetic.

I have been attending a lot of movies recently. This increasing infatuation with the cinema stems from not having a television at the moment, my achilles injury which keeps me from playing sport (should've had tennis tonight) and the easiness of going to the flicks. It is probably the most popular Christian social activity as it doesn't involve use of dubious substances or heaps of money and is a great way of inviting friends along to which is non threatening.

Tomorrow I have my work function on. We are off to Mount Victoria Bowling Club for some foursomes. Lawn bowls styles!

Love Connection

Here is some 1980s gold. It is funny because I know so many single amazing people in Wellington and I believe that the Love Connection with the enigmatic Chuck Woollery is what is required. So stay tuned as I post people from around the traps and rely on the punters to choose who this person should date, that is if anyone still reads this blog. I have been hanging out with some pretty awesome people of both genders and reckon that heaps of these people would make great couples.

For the guys, I got some tips off Yahoo
Top Five Dating Mistakes That Men Make
1. Men Show Off or Try to Impress Too Much. Don't offer your resume, your earning potential, and tell us how you'll change our lives the first time we meet you. Instead of talking about yourself the whole night, ask questions! Don't come on too strong right away. Let us figure out if we want to be with you, instead of telling us we do.
2. Men Don't Listen to Us When We're Talking. We notice if you stop listening to us, if you ask us questions we just answered, or if you keep interrupting us when we're opening up. This drives most women nuts! Unless you're on call, don't check your Blackberry at dinner and don't check out other women.
Focus on the woman across the table from you and listen to what she has to say.
Focus on the woman across the table from you and listen to what she has to say.
3. Men Aren't Chivalrous. The lines here are not always clear. We want you to treat us like equals, but we also want you to treat us like women. It's nice when a man picks up the tab or makes sure his date gets home safely. It may be old-fashioned, but a number of women report that dating a gentleman matters.
4. Men Don't Take Initiative. Men, how many times have you caught yourself saying, "I don't know" or "Whatever you'd like" when planning a date? If you've asked a woman out, a better approach is to give a few fun and creative date options and ask her to pick one.
Initiative doesn't mean ordering for a woman at a restaurant or ordering a woman around! It does mean confidently approaching your date with ideas, passion and interest. It also means you can be flirty and forward, letting her know how amazing you think she looks or how much you want to kiss her.
5. Men Say They'll Call and Then Don't. It's no surprise that acting like you're going to follow up when you're not bothers most women (and never underestimate the way word travels about you not keeping your word!). Better to end a date by saying, "It was nice to meet you. Have a good night." Don't act like you're going to follow up if you're not. If you've gone out more than a few times, be honest that while you enjoy your date's company, you don't feel a romantic connection.
Just remember, communication is usually the way to go with a woman.
Just remember, communication is usually the way to go with a woman.
There are always exceptions, so I don't believe there are absolute rights and wrongs in dating -- but there are strategies. If you follow these simple steps, you'll be ahead in the dating game. At least you'll get an 'A' for effort.

Stay tuned for the first episode of Scotty's Love Connection.

Beowulf 3D

I must admit that as far as 3D glasses go, these ones are pretty smart. People obviously still looked like dorks as I looked across the rows of bemused spectators. Dolby 3D movies are here! The movie itself would have been blurry without the glasses, while if you damaged them it costs $80.

Beowulf 3D is famous for showing Angelina Jolie naked, but it was actually shown in a semi real cartoon version which made it not quite the case. Anthony Hopkins was also in it, so it had some big names and there were plenty of action scenes to appreciate the 3D effect.

I would say that I may not attend this movie because of the cartoonish nature of it and if it wasn't in 3D. 3.5 stars.

In other news, I was woken at 2:45am by someone opening my door. It ends up they were staying with one of my flatmates and thought it was the toilet. It does give you a fright!

It reminds me of a story told to me by Dan Taylor, friend of Ali Simpson and identical twin of the infamous Skinny Taylor (master of the overhead pass in Dunedin). He told me of flatting in Newtown just along from where I live in what looks like a haunted house. One of his male flatmates awoke to find the other flatmate sitting on the end of his bed in the middle of the night, just watching him sleep. Eventually this guy got kicked out of the flat.

Another story springs to mind of drug trials at Zentech in Dunners. The socially awkward Pete McLeod was sick of someone in our room lightly snoring/heavily breathing. He got out of bed in his skimpy undies which he always wore around the place and decided to rectify the situation. He grabbed another pillow and was attempting to raise this guys head onto it when this guy awoke to find Pete McLeod hovering over him in his undies and clutching a pillow. Very funny!

Wellington Celebrities

What does it take to be a celebrity? Sex appeal, money and football ability or just being yourself without a home, with nothing but a loin cloth and blanket for protection? I got this off www.stuff.co.nz and it raises some interesting points about being a celebrity.

Here is the article


Victoria University has extended its town links with a lecture on "Blanket Man", a homeless person who lives on the streets of Wellington.


The city identity, whose real name is Ben Hana, was discussed in a presentation for the New Zealand Folklore Symposium at the National Library which explored the emergence of a celebrity culture over traditional folklore.

Victoria University sociology lecturer Mike Lloyd and PhD student Bronwyn McGovern's address was called World Famous in Wellington: Blanket Man as contemporary celebrity.

Dr Lloyd said attention had shifted from the exploits of recognised achievers such as sporting heroes to people classed as modern celebrities who did not have any exceptional ability.

"What we're interested in is the processes about how people get to be called other things and get fame or notoriety," he said.

"What you have with Blanket Man is someone with quite a lot of fame in Wellington. His recognition has come with his presence on the street and his personal characteristics. He is definitely recognisable with the blankets, the dreads, the loincloth, the great tan and so on, and that partly explains why he is so well known."

The director of the Stout Research Centre for New Zealand Studies, Lydia Wevers, described folklore as the "wild unruly cousin of high art, music and literature".

Graham Seal, professor of folklore at Curtin University, Western Australia, presented the keynote address on The Traditions of Anzac, discussing how folk culture has played an integral role in Anzac traditions

Wellington Phoenix V LA Galaxy - The Beautiful Game

I am finally adding to my blog for the first time since seeing David Beckham appear like a school teacher playing with school kids. Sure he went missing in action at times, but the accuracy of his play was magnificent. He didn't get any free kicks to "bend" into the Phoenix goal, but he can deliver long balls on a six pence and his penalty was a rocket! The Nix were tired from the loss the day before, but again were skinned for pace at the back by their opposition like the night before and were great at building attacks but not finishing them. I was disappointed by both results, but the Saturday game was all about Beckham.

It was strange hearing the crowd cheer for the Phoenix. Phoenix! Phoenix! then Beckham! Beckham! We all wanted to see some free kicks, they never came, but there was such a great atmosphere at both games, Adelaide on Friday and Galaxy on Saturday. There were fireworks, scantily clad carnival dancers, a female streaker who put up a fight with security and the moment all the females were waiting for, David took his shirt off at the end!

There were crowds at the game, but not apparently afterwards as there were heaps of kids decked out in their Galaxy gear. It was a different crowd to rugby and this was a breath of fresh air with chanting and a more family orientated crowd.

My friend Ali Simpson was in town for the game, so I hanged with him and his mates and some of them stayed at my house. It was a good chance to catch up.

In other news I have been given my 30 Top Dog points for my win in tennis a few months back. This temporarily boosted my national ranking to 3786. I returned from a month layoff to subsequently lose my doubles and singles and my ranking has slipped again. My form and consistency was slightly off and it showed. That is the thing with tennis, there are some really crucial key points like when we were up 6-5 in the third set and couldn't round it off (we lost in a tie breaker three set doubles). Yet they were serving for the match at 5-4 up third set. Same with singles which I lost 7-5 6-3. I was up 5-4 and serving for the set and couldn't hold it. I was actually ranked better than this guy who was a good player. It is funny how when you are ranked so close, you could one day lose to someone then improve your form and beat them the next time. Lesson don't miss a month in the middle of a season! Here I thought I was getting somewhere in the rankings. Back to the 4000s for me!

More seriously I hurt my archilles tendon which I am feeling today. Old age affects us all! I could feel it after touch on Sunday. I am always hurting myself playing touch and tennis suffers! With only one match of tennis left, it is go hard and rest over Christmas when everything stops anyway! I played doubles against someone from the band Fat Freddy's Drop! It doesn't make losing 7-6 in the third set any easier on a warm Wellington night!