Last night I went to The Stadium and watch a close match of mixed standard. The Hurricanes always looked the more dangerous, but the Highlanders scored a try and if Evans kicked the last minute conversion, they would've won. It is such a good environment at The Stadium. The weather at night here is warmer than down south and despite wearing Highlanders clothing, I survived without any negative comments. It is a far cry to the Premiership in London where the fans sit in different sections, to avoid confrontations. Carisbrook used to be more like that with plenty of raspberry for away fans and usually a few spilled beers during the Mexican Wave. There wasn't any chanting or much chanting which is one part of the English culture that I admire.

Today it rained all day and I played soccer in Naenae in the Lower Hutt. It is seen as a South Dunedin type area with state houses. We escaped with a 5-2 win to remain top of the table. It was wet and threatened to get messy with some agricultural refereeing.

I am off to a 21st tonight. This is a real chance to pull the moves. I have met some really nice females over the past couple of weeks, so I will get amongst it tonight. Hopefully the Cherni Cherni doesn't beat me to it!

Being the master and victim of socially awkward situations, I am wondering what is socially acceptable. I will have played three games of soccer in seven days and after Wednesday's game I was a little stiff and sore. I want to have a spa or sauna to help sweat off the pain, and am wondering if it is acceptable for a single male to undertake such practices without seeming dodgy? Thoughts/comments?

Marist Skins

I played football yesterday with it being Anzac Day and all. We were playing with the breeze first half against Brooklyn and I went up for a corner for the first time this season. The cross came in low and I was standing at the front post. It was slightly behind me, but I managed swivell on my left foot and shoot in the one motion. It kicked it on the angle across the keeper and a swarm of players into the goal. We then got three - one up at half time. In the second half we held on until the last ten minutes when we conceded a goal. But we dug deep and held on as the wind started taking it's toll. We are three wins from three with 3-2 victory.

I bumped into and old flatmate Dave Graham from my Dunners days. He is a nice guy and into fitness and kick boxing. He flatted at Simpson House with me in 1997 but moved out. He would also compete at the Town Hall fights where the crowd would yell out for his blood. The crowds at the kickboxing were animals. It was hard sitting listening to people calling out "Knock him out!"

This week is my most social. I have done things most nights. Tomorrow I will watch the mighty Highlanders play the Hurricanes at the Stadium. On Saturday I have my third game of football against Naenae. Finally Saturday night is the 21st I thought was on a week ago and wondered why there wasn't any sign of life at the address. I have hearn news that many of the attractive elligble ladies from The Street will be there.

On Tuesday night I went to the movie 300. It is fantasy and contains plenty of violence and scantily clad bodies. It is interesting to see the imagery as it is quite artistic. There are some real ugly mugs that even a mother wouldn't love. I went with Andy Jamieson and some girls from homegroup. Wednesday night instead of homegroup"life group" we played games like Cranium and Mafia. It is great to have a fun life group!

The Market

The female market appears to be opened up and all of a sudden there are heaps of elligible females at The Street. Let the good times role. I am The Sherminator from American Pie "A love robot sent back through time to make tonight special for one lucky day". Targets are locked on and Donaldson is on the prowl!

What is up with New World in Wellington especially? My local Four Square has similar prices as New World with heaps of things. Bananas are cheaper there full price $2.50 per kg. There are so many Indian greengrocers with cheaper bananas, but often they over ripe or damaged. New World ain't really that cheap. Pak n Save is the cheapest!

P.S. The Todd it ends up is a Christian and has been going to The Street for a year or two. He has been MC at a few events!

Return of the Todd

Today I saw Todd "The Todd" Scott at The Street. It is difficult to know what to make of such a finding after our episode of Cash Battle. He kept making uncool digs at us being a church team on the 2005 TV Show. But to think he is in the army is surprising. He has rarely been seen on tv since the show and it seems that there is a very limited market for gameshow hosts in New Zealand. Our side Good Paper won almost $3000 as one night champions. I didn't get a chance to ask if the wheel which was spun for question category was rigged as sometimes on tv it would suddenly stop and other times it would unnaturally keep going, to avoid repeats. I also fear the same with Wheel of Fortune. The tacky gameshows appear to have taken a backseat to reality shows.

Last night I showed the struggle of a lack of depth of mates. I got invited by a guy at homegroup to a birthday of a friend of his. I didn't know the birthday boy but thought I would try and find an address about 30 minutes walk away including a walk through Mount Vic tunnell. It is funny with all these tunnells around. It sucks when people toot. I found what I thought was the correct address and there seemed to be no obvious signs that the back house had any kind of party. There was a darkened path and I wasn't completely sure of the address so I bailed. I spent my Saturday night in McDonalds watching the Highlanders against the Waratahs. It was a nailbiter, but shows it sucks without Sky and going to parties in random apartments in poor lite areas of Wellington.

There is an amazingly gorgeous girl that works in my nearest Subway restaurant. She has worked there since the start of the year at least. What makes it even more crazy is that her coworkers on my trips there are not the sharpest knives in the drawer. She is the only female worker and these male colleagues struggle with tasks like getting the correct change and general enthusiasm sought in a customer service worker. It seems like a rose among thorns. I go for Subway Melt on Italian Herb and Cheese bread, footlong, toasted with Swiss cheese.

Firstly I have bad news for red blooded males out there as former Miss Universe Aishwarya Rai is officially off the market. She made Bride and Prejudice great, rather than Martin Henderson's acting.

Last night I watched an interesting DVD The Triplets of Belleville. It is very different to anything I have ever seen. Hard to say if it is necessarily good or bad.

Finally Marist Skins won 10 or 11 -1 at football today. We went down 1 nil relatively early on, but came back and dominated. This was the first game I have played inside a velodrome. I am not used to the dry and hard grounds.

I thought I would brighten up your day by posting this woman from one of my ladies at the Dunedin City Council. She is a very rangy character.

Another week has gone by and I have come to the conclusion that my male flatmate reminds me of Malcy Geddes. Not a bad guy but enjoys lame sarcastically bad jokes. He walks in with a bag of McDonalds.

Me: "So you went for Maccas?"
Flatmate X: "No, I carry other food in a McDonalds bag, a salad"
Me: "Gay!"

I was just trying to be friendly. No wonder I escaped a conversation between two of my flatmates, talking about their school days. I said kudos they were great, 7th Form you can dominate. Then the conversation went downhill by both about how they got picked on at school.

Much like Malcy Geddes my flatties are not bad people, but say dumb stuff which makes me totally not surprised that they got picked on at school.

The number of Christians in New Zealand is dwindling. Over 1.3 million people have ticked the unaffiliated religion box on the Census form rather than the christian box. This means that only 2 million ticked that box. Also the mainstream churches like Anglican and Presbyterian are shrinking while the more contemporary Elim or AoG are more popular and seen as more relevant.

Marriage of Convenience

Wouldn't it be so much easier if you were betrothed to a maiden of the fairer sex from birth. It would save heartache and years of awkwardness. I am also thinking when to look to the fairer race for marriage. I am thinking of computer science graduates with glasses and greasy hair with asian wives. Is this a sign that they couldn't get a kiwi girl? Is this alright as long as they are Christian? What about mail order brides is this acceptable? What is the difference between this and for example Sophie finding a great guy in France or my brother finding a Swdish chick in London. Am I too worried about what others think at the expense of finding true love in a catalogue, passport or in a green card?

I have always said if I am still single at 35 I am heading to Russia rather than the Phillipines for romance. Hard to know if I would go ahead with it.

Just something I have seen recently. Kiwi guys with Asian girls. It could just be my red neck upbringing!

P.S. We need more girls at our homegroup. I think we should have a contest at group and everyone should invite someone they don't know each Wednesday and we will keep a score on the wall based on how they rate. How much Bible they know and how clued up they are with theological discussions of course.

This is a blast from the past. I found it on www.nzoom.com. Just go to the link above to see the 1977 Top Town final.

Today I purchased some sunglasses. It is a shame that I lost my last pair somewhere in Dunedin's Momona Airport. The weather has been really sunny and I made sure they gave me a decent solid case for my sunnies so that I don't lose them.

A warm welcome goes to paparazzi Dom Crowl. He is a new blogger so we will go easy on him! He has some kudos photos so you can check him/ them out at
www.domcrowl.blogspot.com

Whatever Happened To...?

I have decided to look back at the golden days and keep an update of what happened to friends from the past who I have barely seen in ages. Today I will update you on Ian Carstens. His reputation as host of the 21st which goes down in history is his most famous moment.

Picture this, a crowded room full of nervous early twenty year olds and the jukebox goes out as speeches begin. There was that awkward delay between speeches where everyone was looking for direction (that is why MCs are used at weddings). You could have heard a pin drop at that exact point and time, no one knew where to search for something, anything to keep them entertained and then Lachlan Gordon belched loudly. It was the break in tension that everyone needed. This moment has since gone down as an amazing memorable moment. That story has gone into Lachlan Gordon folklore and is pulled out when solving the world's problems.

Ian Carstens got married at the weekend in Tauranga, he flatted with Boss in Simpson House while in Dunedin. We had good times there. Two other moments spring to mind. One of those was when Ian and Boss liked these nice looking girls from Apostolic. Ian somehow got us invited along to their house before we may be going out to play pool. That idea went down like a lead balloon. We arrived at their house and somehow got stuck cooking the BBQ as these girls and their friends sat around playing drinking games. They hardly talked to us. It was sign that there are plenty more fish in the sea. It shows how awkward it was though as they had all of their snobby mates at this party and Boss, Ian and I were left not knowing anyone, turning not budget sausages but top quality steaks.

The other main thing that springs to mind with Ian Carstens was that both Ian and Boss struggled to pass the Introduction to Computer Technology COMP101 paper. Ian was doing surveying, but he had to pass this paper which was COMP101 but called SURV112. They finally decided after failing either once or twice decided to do some of last years questions, but wondered why they couldn't find any answers in their textbook. Mature student Marty who holds the dubious distinction of being at Uni for three World Cups had to break their hearts by telling them that the textbook they had used to fail the paper on numerous ocassions was out of date and not the textbook for the course anymore. They burned the book in frustration. Farenheit 451 the movie was based on this.

The weekend has come and gone. Saturday's main activity was playing my debut game for Marist AFC Div 9 Marist Skins. I am unsure how we got that name, but we are the 6th Marist side. I showed up at Cobham Park 30 minutes before kick off. We received our green uniforms 10 minutes before kick off. No one really warmed up and we didn't have a match ball or nets. I thought this is worse than Redemption FC. I must admit the standard of the ground was bumpy and hard, despite recent rain. The standard of the match was actually not bad. It is amazing that there is so much depth here. My team are mainly in their thirties, but have more of an ability to pass it around than Redemption FC who rely on long balls to the speedy Gav Jones. We don't really have speed up front or great finishing, and many of our guys needed to come off or ref because they were so tired. There are about five guys from church in my team. We don't practice and this may be why these guys are so suceptible to injury. We won over North Wellington 3-2. It was a fair result.

My sister was in town for the weekend. I caught up with her on Friday and then again today (Sunday). I went to The Street (church) this morning and then went with my sister and her friends Hunter and Megs along with a family she used to board with to a cafe at Lyall Bay. It is a surf lifesaving club. We then went to Oriential Parade and walked along the waterfront. This area reminds me of Nice in France. It was a sunny weekend and I missed my lost sunglasses. Finally we went bowling at The Lanes. It is a classy place aimed at sexing up bowling. I got close to cracking my highest 165, but fell short with 159. Not a bad effort!

Todays issue. There are definitely some nice looking girls at The Street. I have never figured this one out. If they are sitting there on their own after the service not talking to anyone is it considered normal to introduce yourself and say hi (in a non sleazy manner)? I feel paranoid that I would come across as more dodgy than I already am. What about two or more? The Chernishov would, does that make it right? It is hard to know what comes across as sifty guy chatting up early twenties chicks or not. Is Dr Love in the house? What is best said in such a situation without sounding like pick up lines at a bar? Do you come here often usually comes out? The thing is that there are over 20 couples married in the past year at The Street, there is a decent chance that she already has a ring, which is a bad look.

The Rugby World Cup

Courtesy of Yahoo Xtra!
Applications for tickets to the semifinals and final of this year's World Cup can be made through the internet next week. The France 2007 Organising Committee has announced that the public allocation for 30,000 tickets to the three glamour matches in October will be managed through a random draw process. The public can register for the draw by applying online via official Rugby World Cup websites. This is the only way the public can buy individual tickets to these matches outside of official ticket-inclusive travel and hospitality packages. Registrations for the draw open on Monday April 16 and close on May 20. The random draw will take place on May 23. The application window will be open for 35 days and is not based on a "first come first serve" basis. This draw for tickets will be open to all members of the public around the world and 30,000 tickets are available across the three matches. During the registration process applicants will be asked to indicate the matches they wish to be considered for. Three separate draws will take place for each game starting with the final, then semifinal 1 and finally semifinal 2. Winners will be removed after each draw meaning it is only possible to win the right to purchase tickets for one game. Each winner will have the right to buy a maximum two tickets for the game they have been allocated. Applications will officially open at 11am (French time) on Monday April 16 2007 at the following websites: wwww.france2007.fr, www.rugbyworldcup.com and www.paramourdurugby.com.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAmJEqBSBqI

Tui Ads Are Better

With the introduction of the Burger King bikini girls who have been criticised for inappropriate content, I am wondering who are better? The Tui brewers who are gorgeous women or the BK bikini babes? Surely BK is unoriginal with their advertising. Check out Davina above. I reckon the BK advertisements are such a Tui take off and it doesn't really relate to the product as much as the Tui culture which is a far cry from the Speights image. Clever ads!

Public Acknowledgement

Last week at Jeremy Callander's wedding I was reminded by Ollie Yeoman of a vicious rumour. This was told to me in front of several chicks and so I am here saying that this rumour is actually fact. It took place at Sammy Callander's wedding when he took the microphone and sang a song he had written for his new wife. His voice kept breaking with the emotion. At that moment it triggered the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up on end and a watery substance coming out of my eyes. This wasn't hayfever, allergies and no one was peeling onions. I was in fact crying. This was only a few tears. But came about because I have known Sammy for over ten years and for that moment he was the guy that every man wanted to be and every woman there wanted to be in Rach's shoes, being sung to. There I have got it off my chest. A Southern Male of sensitive nature!

This weekend I caught up with Stevo heaps, it was great. Jon and Dom were around and we watched the movie "40 Year Old Virgin" I also kept goals for Redemption FC and kept a clean sheet. Today I watched Phil Dawson lose at soccer, although he is a very good player. He was playing Stevo's team Tech. Tim Dalman was also there as they are both injured. Stevo and myself then went and played touch before Stevo dropped me at the airport. I was smelly!

The Convert a Hottie Project

Is it fine to go out and start hitting on non Christian members of the opposite sex relying on converting them to Christianity so that you can marry them? It seems to be common practice these days for guys to be converted to Christianity all because a Christian girl can't get a Christian guy. I have also seen the guy stop attending any church if they split up. Is it alright to be converted to the kingdom all in aid of getting a marriage partner? Surely it doesn't matter how or why you convert them, as long as they are? What are thoughts comments on this one? I guess it depends how genuine the faith has become.

My middle aged women from the Dunedin City Council still love me. Here are the old office jokes.

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
100 people who don't do dick.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 kgs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in year 9.Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a police car?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Pepper spray will do that to you .

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What's the difference between an Australian zoo and a English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe.."

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s#@$..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

Life in Invers in quiet and the days never seem to warm up. It is hard to know if I haven't adjusted after two straight summers (the Northern Hemisphere one was great) or am I going soft in my old age? Even Wellington is tropical and so close to the action, so it was time to entertain myself. Not by visiting adult establishments, seedy pubs or Role Playing Games stores, although according to Boss they are great ways of meeting people. I went to the movies. Tuesday is cheap day and I went to see Hot Fuzz. The practise of going to the movies alone is widely acceptable before 6pm and I sat in the chair on it's own in the backrow. That is what it's there for, right? The movie had been talked up by everyone I know. That is why I left feeling slightly flat. In saying that though it was something completely different in a film and it held my attention to the very end so I guess it was actually very good. It is the whole mentality. You go to a movie which has been shredded by critics and friends alike and if it is halfway decent, you would say it is brilliant. Joe Dirt springs to mind. Hot Fuzz was definitely British and a really good watch. Just go in with no expectations. I do think it was better than the overhyped Lord of the Rings Trilogy!

I am coming back to Dunners on Saturday. Good times all around!

Materialism

Today I went into town in Invers. It was windy and deserted, but there were heaps of sales taking placing. I bought some Adidas Gazelles. They cost me $50 and are mega comfy. Then I walked the flat and wide city streets and found some Dickies pants for half price $60. I got brown because they were the only colour that fitted. Material possessions make me feel warm and fuzzy for a few hours and then eventually they wear out.

I played tennis at Stadium Southland in the middle of the only indoor velodrome in New Zealand. It was a friendly game of doubles which I was expected to and did dominate. It was strange having people riding around the outside on the cycle track though! I must say that the track is so steep, it is crazy! The facilities at Stadium Southland seem far to extravagant for a place like Invers.

The Callander Wedding

Saturday in Dunedin was such an action packed adventure, which questions the theory that nothing ever happens in Dunedin. I arrived off the plane after a bumpy flight and was picked up by Aaron David Crampton Esquire. It was great spending time with Cramps. Since I flatted with the little rascal our friendship has only existed in sporadic moments. This weekend was a great chance to see him and his lovely wife Kimberley before they go overseas. I stayed at their lovely Bed and Breakfast house and went along to Sunnyvale to witness the unfitness as Redemption did the unthinkable and defeated last year's top team Green Island 2-1.

Following this I went out for dinner as one of the Three Amigos, Musketeers or Stouges, Jon and Dom. It was a good pub meal at the Albert Arms and some quality uncivilised conversation.

I caught up with others going to the wedding at Raphaels and then continued on to Mosgiel for the wedding reception. Yes I did miss the formalities in the afternoon, but new the Callanders wouldn't let me down with awkward anecdotes and Jeremy would use the term "Psycho Hose Beast" several times. His externalising of inner monologue thoughts to rationalise situations is an amazing ability. Ever since him and Grindell made up speeches (while others had prepared theres) in their attempt to be cool in 3rd form English, I have put up with it. From that day when Jeremy tried to rationalise why we need rules so that if I decided to ride my bike on the right side of the road and someone else wanted to ride theirs on the left....snooze..zzzzzz. This was backed up by Simon Grindell who was known for his yearning to become a candlemaker when he grows up. That we he could make candles of any size big ones, small ones.....zzzzzzzz...snooze...

I went to school with Jeremy and it was funny to hear a couple of stories from best man Jamie Turnbull who was also in our class at Hargest. I knew who they were talking about and how Jeremy was picked on and put in his Black Adidas college with blue writing on it. I can still see his arm come out from inside the bag. Kids can be cruel, and when you have a disproportionally large head compared to your body, are small and carry a large bag, you generally are a target. Those difficult years made Jeremy into who he is today. He is an individual who would rather write poetry and watch people play touch than actually play. Alice on the other hand would be the opposite.

Nicknamed "The Phantom" by Boss because he believes she sometimes calls touch without making them, Alice was the most competitive girl in The Chosen Ones team. I say was, because The Chosen Ones parted after the heart and soul of the team went to Wellington and a role as a sleazy sales consultant at Telecom in George Street.

Opposites attract, and it was a great chance to share in the festivities. I met up with plenty of the Soul/Mosgiel crowd that I once lived amongst. It is amazing how much gossip I have missed out on. I have even been included in gossip as Kirsten Harray who is a top lass and currently seeing Tom Mepham (drummer Mephology) thought I had gone to Wellington to be with my girl. When questioning this she then rephrased the question calling her my lady. This could be bad because she has plenty of contacts, and most of the girls at this wedding must've thought I was off the market. That explains the slaps, glasses of wine tipped in my face and the general name calling like "Pig" and "Cradle Snatcher" Maybe that is a different story. Contrary to popular believe I am still available. Blogging is currently my mistress.

In other news Malcs Gordon is back on the love pedestal with Vanessa, Ollie Yeoman has a bird in Wellington. He refused to give her number to me for some reason when I told her that I could show her a good time in Wellington. In other news Jonny Harris is gay, Hayden Luke is looking to keep his lust levels down by only watching J2 music videos and Sam Callander had only revenge on his mind when being MC at his brother's wedding. Just to check that google is doing it's job, I caught up with/saw the following people at this wedding unless previously stated

Gareth Bedford
Claire Hesslin
Luke Arkapaw
Phil Dawson
Jamie Turnbull
Nathan Pettigrew
Tim Dunne
Roh Callander
Tim Muller
Ryan Lobb
Sleaziest looking male at event Em Yeoman
Ben Johnson A
Some chicks who I saw but didn't get a chance to talk to or get phone numbers, Gina and the rest of the Mosgiel click, I mean gang.
Rory Grant
Jeremy France was floating around
Andy and Anna Gordon
Josh Woodside

Flip it is late and I was intoxicated, so if I left you off the list, I apologise, but it was free alcohol.

It was a really good crowd of people and well organised considering the short length of engagement.

Question: When you show up at a Wedding Reception you were invited to and are congratulating the groom and he asks you if you were at the service, because he can't remember seeing you there, and you know you weren't there for selfish reasons, what do you do?